The Orthographic Orator: The Hitch-Hikers Guide to Doctor Who Conventions

Originally published Mistfall issue 10, June 1993

by Anthony B. Martin

Well, that's really just a snappy title and not at all meant to be taken literally. This is meant to be a practical guide to getting to a convention down south. The first piece of advice I offer is that hitch-hiking is dangerous and not necessarily cheaper...

The first step in getting to a convention is to choose the right one to go to! All sorts of factors should be considered: will the thing be interesting, worth the money, will the guests actually turn up, how will you feel if they don't? Also consider whether the dates clash with your exams, or coincide with your holidays from work and, most importantly, can you afford it?

My experience of Doctor Who conventions is mostly limited to NSW events, organised by the Sydney and Newcastle chapters of the ADWFC. I have found the Sydney conventions to be well-run and most of the time the guests arrive as advertised. Some other conventions have achieved a lot less than this, so be warned...

The costs: If you plan well ahead, you can often save a lot of money by subscribing early. To get balls rolling conventions often offer discount incentives to do this. Usually I will subscribe to a "con" as soon as it is advertised in Data Extract and sort out the other details (accommodation and transport) later on.

Accommodation: In recent years the bigger cons have been held at hotels. When this happens, many rooms are block-booked and the con can organise double-and triple-share rooms to minimise costs for the attendees. The convenience of staying in the hotel where the events are held is great. The costs are still considerable ($30-$50 a night). It is possible to have cheaper accommodation but the hotel itself is hard to beat for comfort and convenience. Cheaper accommodation can offer the opportunity to see more of the city you are staying in. Look at the Accommodation Guide from the RACQ to choose the accommodation you want. I went to Novacon in Newcastle in 1991 and saw the inside of a hotel for three days, but for Console '88 I stayed in a central Sydney motel around the corner from the busiest AIDS clinic in the Southern Hemisphere. Returning to the motel late on Saturday night it turned out to be impossible to get a taxi. Then it started to rain. Thoughts of Alf Buller being attacked in the dark by the Peking Homonculus were hard to ignore as the fog rose inkily from shady, spooky shapes in the nearly deserted streets, lit faintly by weak and insipid street lighting... Have I scared you enough?

Transport: To get to Sydney there are five options -- The last item of cost is obvious but easy to disregard at the planning stage. What can you afford to eat? Dining out at restaurants is easy to enjoy but can be a big drain on the pocket.
 * 1) The aeroplane is very quick (three hours home to hotel, about an hour in the air) and expensive ($300++ to Sydney and return). But sometimes discount fares are available and "standby" rates can be obtained. Currently, Australian Airlines offers a pre-booked, pre-paid, lots-of-conditions fare of $169 to Sydney, return. Ask at any travel agent about this.
 * 2) The train takes about 16 to 20 hours and is moderately priced ($90 economy/$130 first class return with Railways of Australia Student ID available from your school/college/university). It can be a really classic way to travel or a pain, depending on the company of your fellow passengers.
 * 3) The bus is cheap ($80-$90), very uncomfortable and takes just as long as the train.
 * 4) Private car is as expensive as the plane (accounting for petrol, wear and tear on the car, etc.), is stressful and tiring (or free and easy) depending on the route you take and the speed you travel. Cars allow great freedom to tour the sights and take in the special remote beaches, national parks, waterfalls etc. but they can be a pain when relied on for transport in Sydney traffic snarls. If you're going by car, it's much better when you are a passenger in someone else's, even if you are paying them.
 * 5) The fifth way is to use a Time And Relative Dimension In Space capsule.  Readers of this article may know that these can be quick or very slow (they're like that, y'know), very comfortable or very bumpy. There's not much point in trying to pre-book, the service is quite infrequent. All in all it's probably easier to walk actually...

Don't forget that the cheaper you can get there and stay there, the more money you can spend on merchandise. It's not unusual for several Sydney specialist stores to have displays and stalls full of "must have" items.

The main thing is not to forget to have a good time...